I'm not as pretty as Amanda, not as smart as Aixuan, not as thoughtful,caring as Laura. And what's worse, everyone despise me. Everyone seems like they like me, but i can tell that everything is not as perfect as i think. I'm just a total screw up, i make people around me upset, and that doesn't make me happy either.
I just treat people around me like how THEY treat ME, am i even wrong? why, why don't they seem happy about it, why must they be so self-centred, with everyone treating them so perfectly, and please them. I feel like a total lose-out, and that nobody cares, when i'm sick, all of them didn't bother. and when they're sick, they want me to bother, what's all these. and they think they're forever alone, how about me. they think they're stupid, how about me. they know im worse than them, in a way or another, but all these critics they make to themselves, they didn't even think about me, the-person-whos-always-the-worst-among-the-worst.
i'm pretty sure, but i hope, that my psle results won't be that horrendous and i really really hope, at least, i can get in cedar girls. but now, now, i'm losing confidence, just thinking about all those mistakes i made, i think i'm dying. people say this year's psle is easy, what if i say it's difficult, will they call me stupid dumb shitty. i try my best, to make everyone happy and treat them nicely, but its difficult, you know, when ppl actually don't care about what you're doing for them, and take things for granted. it's really really...an ugly truth.
whenever i think about the future, i anticipate. but right now, i'm not, i'm just an ugly,ugly, ugly, loser. what am i living for? i've no idea. i hate myself, for being so stupid. ihateit.